A Visit from Saint Nick?
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a computer was stirring, not even a mouse; The speakers were placed around the chimney with care, In hopes that Aaron, Frank, and Nick would soon be heard there; David Hoy was nestled all snug in his bed; While terrible EVPs looped in his head; And mamma Oertel in her ‘kerchief, and Troy in his cap, Had both left Spotify playing and settled in for their naps, When outside David’s dorm there arose such a clatter, He sprang from his bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window he flew like a Skinwalker bone dart, Tore open the window and gasped with a start. The moonlight at rest on the new-fallen snow, Cast an eerie, white light on the hovering UFO. Then what else to his questioning eyes did appear, But gnome folk, the Jersey Devil, and the Kinderhook creature, With floating orbs ringed around them so lively and quick, They came down from the saucer, “Ugh” would say Nick. More rapid than lightning the orbs they came, And the Creature whistled, and shouted, and addressed our fans by name, “Now, David! Now, Deborah! Now, Sarah! Now, Maddie! Oh, Falon! Oh, Troy! Thanks for listening, sincerely! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now lift away! lift away! lift away all! As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; So up to the heavens the foo fighter did fly, With that, David’s EMF meter peaked at a 5, And then, in a twinkling, he found it was dawn, Alas, his memory of the last 4 hours was gone. As if in a trance, he stumbled inside, To find a stooped figure at his Christmas tree, just besides. A man? A woman? Dare he think it Saint Nick? Eyes wide in the dark, he realized with a click. It said “You should be asleep, if your presents tonight matter.” But it wasn’t Saint Nicholas, just a cow on a ladder. Now you might question this poem’s objectives. But, we all know Aaron loves stories with different perspectives.
Saint Claus can trace his origin all the way back to legendary stories about the secret gift-giving of Saint Nicholas of Myra. The modern rendition of the rosy-cheeked, rotund man dressed in red in his reindeer-drawn sleigh is quite a bit more recent.
Listen in tonight for a variety of strange, and sometimes hair-raising reports of real-life Santa sightings by people young and old. Frank really did his deep research this episode.
Honestly just listen to the poem at the start and then go to sleep. I worked hard on it. No AI. Just good, old-fashioned human brain juice.
